Saturday, December 31, 2005

People

Just something that popped into my mind a few minutes ago.

"How do we form perceptions of others?"

Simple scenario (from last night's gathering at Paulaners):

Wong Angie Jason Stef
----t----a----b----l----e----
Me Roy Pris Adrian

*chatter chatter*
"Cheers!" *clink*
Everyone took a sip from their mugs. Roy turned his attention to me.

"Sharon, which year did u graduate from NUS?"
"You guess?"
"HAIYO. Everytime I ask they'll ask me to guess!" His exasperated reply didn't work on me.

"Okok," he surrendered. "2000?" That makes me about... 27?
I started laughing. "Angie!" waved to my pal whose eyes were on the band. "He say I graduate in 2000 leh. Hahaha.."
Angie laughed. "She's the same age as Linda lah, Roy.."
The whole table laughed at his flabbergasted expression.

"Sure orn't?" Roy rebutted in his Hongkong-accented English. I challenged him with a deadly white-witch stare. After which we both started laughing (couldn't stand his comical face).

****

So how do people perceive other people? How do we arrive at a conclusion or impression, and why do we dislike certain people? Decided to google that (since its R&R day for me anyway). Some interesting theories which provided some light on sociology phenomenon >>

I'm a classic receiver of the Interview Illusion theory.

Because of Repulsive Hypothesis, we tend to first exclude people whose attitudes are outside of an acceptable range (hence disliking their company). That's why I'm not particularly fond of certain people in my social network. But because positive psychology is vital to one's success, I decided to smile and be friendly whenever they're around. And I walk away feeling damn satisfied with myself.

Gotta go back to my work now. Have a good 2005 while it lasts, and CHEERS to a smashing year ahead!

Eve of NY Eve

Sooooo tired. Everytime when I've a head-to-toe scrubbadub at unearthly hours, I'd wished I were botak instead. Serious! You won't know how painful the waiting-for-hair-to-dry process is man (unless you're a girl or one of those Axl Rose wannabes). Argh if only I can go GI Jane.. wait kenna fired by boss, haha.

Today damn slack. All the big guns ain't around - Reb, Mas on leave. Pat had fever. S's in BKK for her aunt's funeral. Damn empty the office. Nearly fell asleep (again). Housekept to keep awake. Call me auntie, but I'm a bit bit 'pantang' when it comes to certain things. Like I believe must clear out the old clutter, dustbin must be empty, etc in order to welcome the arrival of a good year. Grins. So basically by end of the day, my drawers are cleared, except for important stuff. My dustbin's empty. My papers neatly straightened out. And my cows are all in strategic fengshui positions on me desk. Heh heh. Like that 2006 confirm HUAT!!!

Hai.. really like auntie.

Well, whole company's released at 3pm. Same as last Fri.. Though only a week ago, but seems like 3 weeks has passed. Maybe too haps already the X'mas weekend. Lack zzz plus booze equals STM (short term memory). Meeting the office gang for dinner at 7, so me and Angie went to jalan jalan in town first. I was lugging this heavy bag of work and clutter around the shops too. Who tell me be so pantang....

Town's pretty packed despite working hours. Maybe most on halfday... Went Raffles City cos it's safely shielded from da ass-scorching sun. Saw this huge SALE signboard outside Ralph Lauren and went in WITHOUT thoughts of leaving with anything. But alas, if I could predict the future I wouldn't be here BLOGGING already. Chanced upon a black mini skirt, tried it on and VOILA! I gotta have it. A mighty STEAL I tell u - was $126, but now it's going at $39! Ralph Lauren at that!!! *victorious laughter*

Feet ached after 2 hours of elbowing people (on purpose AND accidentally). Sneaked wedges and soft yummy french loaf in at Cartel..... Chum, confirm cannot eat much during dinner. Walked to Millenia and on the way, picked up a pair of shorts from Adidas. There's a lot of new stock!!!! I'm heading there again next week to buy more casual wear. Shall drag Des along since he also siao Adidas. Keke.

Outback's full house! Luckily Yayat could get a table for us 8. Gang was clueless, so I made some recommendations. Waiter informed me that Yayat personally cooked for us. Heh and of course everything was good, save for Adrian's steak which was a tad too bloody for his liking. But overall it's really good. As usual, (friendly) crossfire between me and Clarence served as entertainment for the rest. Poor Angie stuck in between the missiles and bombs and ammo, haha. Everyone chitchatted with everyone, something that I enjoy a lot cos no one's left out. Then dunno who decided to start a rumor for me, and stupid Clarence volunteered Teck Whye.

"Can la.. One's witty and noisy; the other's blur and dazed. You complement each other well man," gave me a fat thumbs up and nod of approval.

Stefan quickly added a line that became the ultimatum statement for the night,
"Or Clarence la. HEY, WAIT a min.. You guys do have a bit of husband-wife look!"
Everybody turned to look and laughed their steak calories away. Amid "yayaya i agree" and "hahaha", both of us were tryin to fend and save whatever last bit of pride we have. Stupid people..... anyhow tekan me. Go back office then you know....

Adjourned to (where else?) Paulaners for post-dinner drinks. Roy, Pris, Wong and Joan joined us soon after. A bit tired, had only a .5 dark. Stayed till 1 and Wong sent us back.

Sleepy. Watery eyes. Unstifiable yawns. Thus I shall retreat to the comfort of my bed. Tomorrow no plans, think I'd just stay at home do a quiet countdown. Hmmm....

Friday, December 30, 2005

Wala wala

I know I know, I ought to be sleeping. Survived a ridiculously busy Thursday on barely 5 hours of zzz. My snooze debts are so freaking high.... But haiya, don't blog I'd feel a bit weird weird. Is there a term for addiction to blog? Blogdiction perhaps?

Wed flashed and was gone like lightning. Did tonnes of planning. My colony of back-up braincells was gone by lunchtime. Rebooted system with smoke/coffee/loo breaks. Whole day texting and/or msning Des as I worked. Think we wanna maximize time and say all the crap we can while we can, haha. He's leaving Thurs (today) for M'sia holidaying with his family. Was on the phone with him too during Sales meeting.

"Jialat.. feel feverish leh," I complained.
"Huh. Drink water la.. tahan abit more. 45min to go.."

After some more messages,
"i wanna run tonite.. if meet up it'd be 8 or 9," I wanna train for marathon.
"Ya i wanna run too.. lg time nvr run. if skip again tonite, no chance liao," coz he'll be in Msia till Monday.
'Ok so cya in 2006 den,' I thought. Then he text me as he headed home. In the end we decided to meet and go Wala Wala's. Asked Hendrix and Karen along too. Yeah, the four musketeers.

Packed place. Good band and music though. My fave hangout during NUS days. Des bumped into a couple friends there. To my horror, one of his friend's friends was from NUS Canoeing club. Didn't recognize me though.. maybe act blur I also dunno. Treated them Hoegaarden, but hated the crowd. All were yakking and yakking and yakking while the band played. I mean, c'mon! If you wanna talk, GO DOWNSTAIRS PLEEASE. And they didn't even respond when the band talked to us. Only a few (like me) clapped or responded. I got manners k.

"If u wanna get laid, laid, laid.." Yeah it's THAT song. Haha.. to all the sexy ladies in da house, said the guitarist. This morn Des msned me,

"If u wanna get laid,"
"yes?" Ok... what now, smart ass?
"if u wanna get laid.............. Climb into a chicken's nest n wait."
DAARRRHHHH. Nice try.
"So wat were YOU thinking of? u dirty minded gal u,"
"Hmm.. sodomize the chicken?"
"EWWWW ure sick!"
"Now den u noe meh.. hahaha"

Went on to the topic of drive, stamina, frustration, restlessness, Bangkok, stands, getting drunk, restrains etc. For those who don't geddit, good for u. You'll go to Heaven. For those who even vaguely know what i'm talking about, WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE! What's with young people nowadays.....

ANYWAYS, I'm starting to miss that bugger. Text him on my way to town for dinner with Danlin,

"Must get sthg for me from Msia!"
"Wat u wan?? I dun even noe where i'm goin yet. Lol"

I don't care. You know better than to deny my requests.. *evil laughter*

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Blues

I miss waking up in the late afternoons.

Waking up at 0650 was such a bitch. Hit the snooze again and again and again before mum switched off the aircon.

That did it. I couldn't tahan the heat and finally sat up on my mattress grumbling like an old woman.

'Fucking hell..... Why do people have to work?'
*shuffle shuffle*
Pregnant pause before the beige ceramic sink. Resembled a petrified student from Hogwarts.
'Oh gawd, I look like some druggie.' Uttered an indecipherable curse at the dishevelled reflection before the wet turkey ritual.
'I SHOULD BE SLEEPING!!!' That teeny spoilt-brat voice screamed and yelped while I dragged my 'shell' to the office.

As expected, work piled HIGHER than Everest. List of new emails went LONGER than the Great Wall. HELP. Wanted to make coffee but people & calls kept coming to my desk. Finally had time to do my morning nicotine injection.

Thought can have my caffeine fix after that. NO time. Had to rush to Suntec Tower Three for a meeting with the IDA (Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore) people. Actually, I just met one - the Senior Manager for forgot-what-unit. Some David fella. 1.5hour discussion together with Roland, was so freaking braindrained after that. Fruitful though. Throughout the meeting, it dawned upon me (yes, once again) how much emphasis and importance the new Management at A***scan has placed on Marketing.

"I just joined A***scan, and the people there are too engineering per se. They dunno how to sell their expertise or blow their own trumpets enough to attract new businesses... Actually a lot of things they've done can be packaged nicely, together with some re-coding etc," to quote Roland.

David looks at me. "How big's your department, Sharon?"

"Two."

"WHAT? To support staff of 80? I was expecting three to four!" His reaction didn't shock me at all.

Now have to think about how to gift-wrap our vision and direction into a viable value-adding product. How to doll up and make our solutions attractive. AND how to convince those folks that A***scan 'can benefit the industry and Singapore', with personal interests drafted in a more tactful style, in order to get some funding and support from IDA.

Couldn't eat after the meeting. Guess the reminder of how weighty my responsibilities are in the velocity and area of A***scan's expansion stunned me for a good while. Especially after the long period of merrymaking, this 360 change of pace and environment got me bad. Roland went TPY to get his car, and I went back office alone.

Lunch was milo and cereal bar. Too lazy to buy, and no appetite either. All I could think of was clearing as much nitty tasks as I could so I can focus on the battle ahead.

Dropped by Boon Keng to pick up a crystal gift for our big customer. Ate like a mouse for dinner. Even though mum cooked my fave sweet-and-sour prawns and lotus root soup. Kept thinking of work and today's meeting.

Tried to unwind by reading papers, but news about the 26 Dec Tsunami had me tearing. The fragility of Life NEVER fails to get me, somehow. If someone dear was suddenly taken away from you before, you'll understand why.

Oh, almost forgot. Had three more presents for today. A cow plush from Roh, papaya shower gel from Body Shop (Lynn), and a box of Lindt's chocs from dunno-who. Found the box on my desk when I reached office this morning.

"Wah, somebody got secret admirer neh," Coco teased. Dunno whether to laugh or cry..

Gonna go surf around see what inspirations I can get. Never felt so short of breath before... Sighs.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Smashing

One word to rule them all - Smashing.
Nursing a bad hangover as I write. Yeah t'was a smashing Xmas eve and a smashing headache the morning after.

First stop: Bishan.
Popped over Shirley's about 8-tish for "Hi's" and "Merry Xmas's!". Had turkey, tempura and GIFTS EXCHANGE! Lol. They bring out the kid in me, haha. King Kong had me chattering on incessantly.

"Haiya I've this thing for apes mah.." I muttered under my breath. In the split seconds that follow, nobody flinched. Nobody replied. Just as I thought I'm safe, Ju's eyes widened. The tempura mushroom almost flew outta her mouth. Then Kate started laughing uncontrollably. Now I recognise THAT laugh...

"Ah yes yes. You're thinkin I like hairy men, hence apes too. RIGHT?" I made a face. Bad move. Kate started shrieking like a hyena.

Spent the next 15 min bantering about hair (whether more or less is more shiok). Got the whole table laughing with our choice of dinner topics: Caffeine-induced colon cleansing, 'live' surround sound system (courtesy of me, Shirley and Ju), 63-month bonuses, and yadder yadder yadder. You get the idea.


Second stop: Hougang.
Des came fetch me about 9plus. My first time seeing him in shirt. Gotta admit he looks quite good. Grins. Reached Ed's apartment and we seemed, well, a teeny overdressed.

"Wah, why wear so nice oh?" David jested. The boys were mostly clad in berms and t-shirts. I gave him a helpless shrug. If I had a choice my man, I'd be in shirts and berms just like you all.

They wanna go Paulaners for drinks. I'm four limbs up. Called Hendrix about the change in plans. Suspicious feeling that Karen'd be unhappy cos she'll miss out on fireworks. True enough, she text me "can ask ur frens go esplande? i think we can only stay there (paulaners) 1 hr den have to go off liao. Fireworks start at 12 leh." Showed Des the msg. He wasn't happy about it.

"Ignore her. Don't need to reply." His face was so black, it got David's attention.

"What happened?"

I just looked at him and shook my head. I don't even know where to begin.


Third stop: Paulaners.
My fave watering hole. Glad that Des's frens love it as much as I do. Got a table inside. Sat around and had some toasts to warm things up. Band's great!! Goofed around with the party hats and poppers and clappers and clickers. I'm really becoming more of a siao chabor, haha. Hendrix and co reached soon after. No space, so they had to make do outside. Went out with my beer and said Hi. For the rest of the night, Des and I were like two KTV mamasans running from table to table entertaining our guests.

Called Brunei to kacau. Leo didn't throw party, surprisingly. Izan said I sounded tipsy. Which's NOT the norm since I only had like... 2 drinks? Must be the social butterfly mode I'm in. She sounded 'friendly'. Maybe no need to be nice to me liao bah. Whatever. Quiet dinner there. Boring, they complain. I don't mind quiet celebrations; it's the company that matters. It has always been that, hasn't it?

Countdown was CRAZY. Palms still hurt from the table drumming when the band demanded "More noise!!!" Went outside and initiated a really rowdy mugs-clashing Xmas toast to Hendrix etc. We could've broken the mugs, I swear. Took pics and hung out till 2. Ed came out to say bye, and told Des they're goin Bintan during eve.

"But i can't go leh! Going somewhere with my parents," Des protested.
"So? Sharon can still join us mah," Ed threw me a mischievous wink. I laughed at Des's speechless face.

"OK la gotta go! See u at Bintan, sharon!" He escaped before Des could trample him down. Had to down one more drink, all thanks to Mr Chang. Four drinks. And I'm officially tipsy. Must be the little food and lack of sleep.

Fourth stop: Esplanade.
Had to hold on to Des some parts along the way. Scoured 7-11 for ice and wine-opener. Finally reached Esplanade with our barang. Attempted to open the ice wine. No strength. Coordination skills damn jialat (due to alcohol). Had only a cup before surrendering. Tired, zonked, and feeling melancholic. Lied down on the pavement to rest and enjoy the night sky. Hendrix's gone too. Leant over to tickle him awake. Karen's the only uptight one.

"Eeee! So dirty!!" She exclaimed when I was the first to lie onto the pavement.
"So? Haiya, rugged a bit lah.." I wasn't expecting her to follow anyways. The boys followed suit.

"Ahh... so breezy and comfortable. Karen, u should learn to be less uptight at times leh," Des commented. I sat up and he noticed leaves stuck to my back. Started picking them off.

"See see?? That's why I don't like. So dirty..." Made her point with disgust all over her face. I rolled my eyes and drew my knees closer. Des simply continued removing leaves from my back. Wasn't long before I lied down again. Smart enough to use his arm as pillow this time. Pavement a bit hard leh.

Slept on the way home. Zigzagged to my unit. Luckily Des was around to steady me, haha. Difficulty poking the key into the keyhole even! Sighs. Totally pooped. Dumped my presents on the floor, changed and collapsed.


All I want for X'mas? Is zzzzz.......

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Madcap Yule

SIONG WEEK SIAH.

I don't care if I sound ah-lian, but it's really SIBEH SIONG AH!

Took leave from Tue (planned to go KL but was shelved). Karen that gancheong spider made me panic last Sat when we went to pick her up after her X'mas shopping.

"Wahlau.. so many bags!!!" I almost fainted when she hauled her things into the car.
"YES..... and these are for my colleagues only!" Okay this time I really fainted.

Timely reminder. Went Compasspoint the next day to buy some generic gifts first. Lugged home 2 kilos of chocs (20 bars total) and some knick knacks. Biceps put to da test. Did a quick count that night. I still have like FORTY presents to get. And it's MINIMUM 40 hor, excuse me. I'm not even 1/4 done yet! Red alarms went off crazily.

King Kong movie and dinner on Tue. Didn't shop; was home whole day wrapping some presents. But then decided to make a list and checked it twice. Last count? 56. GULPS. Ok it's war tomorrow or never!

Wed's D-Day of D-Raid~~~!! Went PS and swept through the stores like Katrina. Within 3 hours, I've 7 bags from Marks & Spencer, Spotlight, Aussino, Carrefour and Body Shop. Biceps AND triceps AND calf muscles put to the test. My bank account too. Spent evening wrestling with ribbons and bows and wrapping papers and sticky single-sided double-sided tape. Felt like octopus and medusa with their remnants in my hair. I SUCK AT RIBBON-TYING. Mummy dearest to the rescue and I had a 10-min crash course on tying pretty bows. Lovely.

Went office on Thurs as Santarina-minus-the-fur-outfit. Got wrapped presents on my desk already! Cow note-holder, cow keyboard rest, and box of chocs. My desk's officially D-Cattle Farm, haha. Minute I stepped in, everyone's like "Sharon sharon! this this this..", "Sharon! that that that.." Tell me how to take leave without worrying about work? After gifts-giving excitement and chatter, had to settle urgent work. Sometimes I think my boss really 'tan dio' to have staff like me. Rolls eyes.

Went back on Fri to help with the office party. Our Recreation Club (RC) chairwoman SIBEH JIALAT. SMS me on Fri morning, "Sharon, later how are we carrying out the gift exchange and quiz?" WTF?? The party's at noon loh! Wahlans. Sorry ah talk about people like her I become ah lian-ed. Party went ok. Newbies gotta sing solo or group. Got First Prize (crystal wine glasses from Germany) for doing an Ah-Mei number. Had a ball of a time hosting the quiz. Think I just discovered a hidden talent... Emceeing, anyone?? :D

HUGE puppy soft toy from Rey, HUGE pen from Kev, bookmark from Dixon, cow mobile holder from Linda, magnets from June etc made up my second lot of stash from my colleagues. Rushed to get something done for Patrick (last min). Then home to prepare for BBQ at Wong's. First time cooked so fast for 15 people! - satay sauce, pasta salad, veg kebabs all in 45min! Scalded hands. Innocent utensils and equipment got cursed to the max that day.

BBQ went great! Phew. Was chef and didn't eat much. But great seeing them enjoy the food. Shot pool and impressed the lads. My skills improved liao, don't play play hor. Haha.. Saw Alan's tatts and talked about it. Showed them mine, everybody said cheap and good! I love Richard, haha. KTV at the clubhouse. Had fun goofing around and laughing aplenty.

Nice Clarence sent me to town after we wrapped up at 11. Met up with Des and co for coffee, (more) pool, and Narnia movie!! Got home at 7 this morning. Bummed. Konked till 3pm and later gotta prep for two dinners and late night activities. 3 different groups of friends in all! SIONGS. Dunno what time can come home tonight or tomorrow morning. Gotta go wrap their presents now....

ARRRGGHHH.. u tell me Yule siong anot??

MERRY CHRISTMAS nonetheless!!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Coffee and doing nothing

Something real interesting. This book's now on top of my X'mas wishlist!!

"On the very morning I realised I had a thinking problem, I was ready to start on my toxic thinking spree when I decided to stop and drink coffee instead - but really DO NOTHING but drink my coffee. For the next 10 minutes I forced myself not to think or talk about my problems. I just stopped and smelled the coffee. (Whiffed that wafting aroma.) I saw the coffee. (Stared at the pretty milk swirls.) Tasted the coffee. (Savoured every good to bitter to best nuance.) I became the coffee. (Went from coffee bean to coffee being.) And if/when I found my anxious morning mind drifting to upsetting work or love problems, I redirected it back to my coffee's aroma, and stopped my mind from a-roaming to negative thoughts."
- excerpt from Karen Salmansohn's book, How to Change Your Entire Life By Doing Absolutely Nothing.

Ah, the simplistic powers of doing nothing.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

That's Life

Some ol' blue eyes for pick-me-ups? Can never go wrong with that..
Here's my take on Life:

That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.

I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet,
A pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That's life
I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet
A pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life,
That's life and I can't deny it.
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it.
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die...

Monday, December 12, 2005

Goodbye

It is with a slightly heavy heart that I pen this entry.

"My Aunt Grace passed away at 7.25 pm tonight. Thank you to all who showed concern for my family and I during this difficult period of our lives. For those who knew her and want to attend the church funeral, it will be on Tuesday, St Andrew's Church. We have yet to decide on the time, pls RSVP for time later."

Message came in at 8.21 pm last night when I was sorting out my coins collection. Didn't call cos they might need time alone to grieve. It's a relief for Aunt Grace I believe. The illness been torturing her way too long... Life has a twisted way of making people feel polar emotions at the same time. I for one, felt happy that the illness has finally left her. Yet it is sad to learn about the passing of someone I know. We've also grown closer with the contact we kept via smses.

"She's been a good woman, the Lord'll keep her safe. Be strong.."

I could've kicked myself for sending such a cliche-sounding reply. But seriously, I couldn't think of what else to say. Perhaps it is to console myself too that Aunt Grace will be happier in her new life. Wanted to fly to Brunei pay my respects but Reub thinks it's not a gd idea. Did explain why and I kinda understand. After all, words can be a man's downfall in that country.. though a typical Singaporean like me don't give two hoots about what people say.

Regrets? Yeah there's one -- I didn't manage to speak to her before she left for the better place (both times she was resting). Big aunt answered the first time, and Reub's mum the second. i think auntie was on the verge of tears when talking to me. Wished I were there to share her tears..

I decided to text her that same evening.
"Auntie grace, i called u today but u were sleeping. wanted to ask if u miss me! haha.. n to tell u i've bought ur xmas present already! excited? heh"

Though I can't be there tomorrow, I'm sure Reub and his family know my intentions and thoughts are with them. Shall go rest now, tomorrow is always a better day.


P.S.: Sigh. Why didn't you wait for me?? Now I've to find a courier that does special requests.. we'll catch up when it's my turn to check in (or out if you take it the other way). I'm pretty sure we'll have PLENTY to talk about.. especially LV :)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Invest and Think

Sundays are my gems for total R&R. When I can afford to flip through the papers leisurely, accompanied by good coffee. Today lagi better, with the faint breeze and cool weather. I sipped the intoxication slowly and enjoyed the mini steam bath. Spent Sat night watching The Descent with the boys. Was so fucking freaked out, I nearly gave up watching halfway. The show's about 6 women on an underground cave trip that went horribly wrong. All because...

1) The leader told a big fat lie. Was supposed to be some caves frequented by hikers. But the actual cave they went to, well, no one's been there before (or so they thought). She had good intentions though. But HELLO... putting 6 lives at stake cos you wanna mend a friendship between 2 women, by naming some stupid cave after her?? The maths just don't tally.

2) Too much boozing and smoking (I suspect weed) the night before a hiking trip doesn't bode well. C'mon.. who'd be in the right frame of mind to do a final check (pun intended) before the hike?

3) No registration with the local authorities about their trip. Climbing/hiking 101: Hikers and climbers are supposed to inform the authorities about the hike and the estimated duration they'd take. So they can send search parties, DUH. They should also leave obvious (duh) markings like a red flag to indicate their last position before the hike/climb.

4) Dark loomy corners, damp slippery mud-laced walls and enclosures, tight compact tunnels that fit a 100-pound woman and nothing more, panning the place via the viewcam's night mode cos your torchlight's flat.. The setting's enough to send claustrophobics (me), hydrophobics (me), and xenophobics (yes, me again) crashing through the nearest exit door (which I almost did). So imagine what happens when you put 6 women each with different fears, trapped in a totally unfamiliar place, with cannibalistic cave creatures (that look like Voldemort's long-lost uncles/nephews) as hungry neighbours...... Urgh, just recallling the show makes me shudder.

Whoa, luckily that time in NZ's Waitomo Caves none of this shit happened!! It was dark and damp and muddy too (put out 5 fingers and you see nothin'). We had those helmets with a bulb (like those used by rubber tappers) and mine malfunctioned. Worst was I lost my rubber boot during one of the waterfall dives (there's THREE to navigate inside the caves), scraped my palm against a wall stalactite, and at the end of it, scaled 8 flights of wooden planks (bloody makeshift stairs) on freezenumb limbs just to get outta the cave. I swear I hadn't cursed so much in my whole life... Had lived out my greatest nightmare, maybe that's why Descent scared the shit outta me.

Anyway the papers. I'd skim thru the first few pages, and slowed down towards Invest and Think sections. Worldly news too depressing for me at this moment. Wahlau, already so depressed still read about who-bombed-who or the number of kids dying of starvation..... Can kee siao one leh.

*Flip flip*
"The more he makes, the more he saves" caught my eye.
Wah.. so smart. 24 years old and a successful entrepreneur. Holds a psychology degree from Hartford Institute and runs 6 businesses out of his family's mansion in Serangoon North, generating more than $20,000 a month.
'24', 'Hartford', '6', 'Serangoon North', and 'more than 20,000 a month' screamed at me.
Cynicism says, "Haiya, must be family rich.. can tap on network and money from dad or mum."

Mr Chen's quest to start his own company began in 2002 while giving not-for-profit Chinese language classes at the Tan Clan Association in Chinatown, where his father was a director.

"Ha.. see? DIRECTOR of a clan association. Clans are congregations of businessmen and such,"

Apparently he earns his keep by giving Chinese tuition classes.

'After a year at the Tan association, Mr Chen's clientele grew so fast he had to move his classes to the unused first floor of his 3-storey family home. He then set up a company, Chinese Star Scholastic, and diversified into other businesses - maths tuition and extra-curricular classes such as abacus and painting, a day-care centre, a hostel for overseas students and talent firm Superstar Kids.'

Hmm quite smart. Knows how to diversify.. But STILL, must be his parents helped him out.
When asked how much it took to set up his tuition centre at his home, he said,

'I started this school when I was 22 with no help from my parents and without any savings.
Basically I put an ad in The Straits Times using a credit card my parents had given me, and the following weekend people came to register. So I used those registration fees to pay off the credit card bill.
Then I paid my parents $1,000 a month to use part of the house. There were many repairs I had to do.. It cost more than $10,000. I was very lucky that people allowed me to pay in instalments; they probably saw that I was very young and gave me a chance.'

Cynic bit her tongue.

'I draw only $800 a month. If I had more money, I'd rather give it to my teachers. It doesn't make sense if I compete with my teachers on salary. It'd be very ungenerous of me. They earn $1000 to $2000 a month depending on hours worked.'

Ok ah, ok. You win, young man!
Hmmm... wonder if he's taken?

*Flip flip*
At Think section now. The Lunch Interview's my personal fave. Each week high flyers and bigwigs are interviewed over good makan where they share nuggets of their success. This week's about Vikas Goel, who set up the billion-dollar eSys Technologies (annual revenue $3.4 billion in under 5 years) and who singlehandedly doubled Seagate's market share in India when he was their IT distributor.

His appetite for risk drove him to secure the make-or-break loan for starting up eSys - pledging his future family inheritance to a bank for a 3.5USD million loan. Hmm.. Good example to follow for those with family inheritances awaiting. (Disclaimer: owner of this blog has yet been certified nor train by any bank/financial institution.)

Vikas declares he's a go-getter. And it's all about recognising opportunity.
Now why does that remind me of a certain someone?
"It's about being a survivor, not being afraid to live anywhere in the world and knowing you'll find your way through somehow." Ahh... something I've got to learn if I wanna make it big n retire early.

'I just walked into the CEO's office and gave a presentation and he said okay,' recalls Mr Goel. 'This guy is known as a maverick in the banking community...He said I just sounded convincing.'

Hmmm... Confidence is key, people!!! To be able to sell is a form of art, something I'm still learning to perfect.

'They made me pledge whatever I owned anywhere and whatever I could potentially own, including anything I would have got from my family, my share of the inheritance.'

'I pledged everything I had, including my future.'

'The gamble has certainly paid off: In its first year of operation as a distributor of computer parts, eSys whipped up revenues of US$108 million. By the next year, turnover had soared to US$240 million from the company's expansion into 12 countries.

Today, eSys employs almost 800 people in 31 countries.

My jaws dropped. Amazing... Now if only I could get inside his brain and pick it..... AMAZING.
For the record, Goel was borne wealthy, had a string of degrees and certs and never short of career options. But he wanted to step outta his dad's shadow. He's living proof that persistance, hardwork, reliability and honesty does land you in good stead. In times of trouble, some lent him 300k and 1mio (all USD, mind u) without him asking.

I could do with some of that money... OW! (scalded myself on the coffee).

You know, reading about these big guns are really fuel for me. In the midst of jaw-dropping as I gaped at their achievements, I took it upon myself to draw a few good lessons from their experience. I'm not so much a quote person; I need to read about real-life successes and only those that truly impresses me, I'd take their quotes to heart so to speak. Like in Goel's case, who started eSys in 2000 when the IT sector was in a worldwide recession. He felt it was the perfect time to start a new business in the very same industry.

'As a real entrepreneur, you should be able to do more than just find available opportunities, because if there's an obvious opportunity everybody will see it, and the established players will take it before you do,' he says.

And the words that did it for me:
'You have to spot the threats that offer you an opportunity.
So basically, when everybody was walking out of IT distribution, I saw it as an opportunity to go in.'

Badly hit by the recession, computer-parts suppliers were then more open to working with smaller outfits like eSys. And what Goel had to offer was efficiency. Beat out the big boys by having a reputation for having low costs. Ingenious.

Backtrack a bit..
Few days ago over lunch at Tang's Island Cafe, I voiced out to Reub about the concerns I've for the company, and what I find is hampering our healthy growth - we expanded too fast for our own good. Insufficient support to internal operations already, how else to look after our overseas subsidiaries? As a result, staff morale goes down, which results in inefficiencies, unproductivity and shaky belief in the company's future.

So when I read Goel's recipe to success, I knew I was right about the problems.
'For every operation, we start small. We opened offices around the world one country at a time, with the same centralised back office which could support each operation. Then we would build up each office, make it profitable, and add people there.' I'd understand more from Mas during tomorrow's meeting..

The last bit of the interview reminded me of Reub so much, I laughed when I read how Goel described his schedule,

A bachelor, he works from 10am to 4am overseeing operations across various timezones, which leaves him with very little time to do much else. (He's 35, by the way.)

'Even my parents have to make an appointment to see me,' he says, with a sheepish laugh.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Think (Part 2)

continued..

** July **
Started work in A***scan. Happy cos I'm on very gd terms with my manager. Bonded on the trip we went in mid July. Was for an industrial exhibition in KL... Realised we've similar working styles, tastes, and expectations. So far so good. Even HR manager exclaimed we're like peas in a pod sometimes. Haha..

** Aug **
Career's good; family's good. Reub mended bridges, especially the toughest strain between me n my dad. Drew away from the new people, cos they can be quite immature and too self-righteous. Plus i didn't want unnecessary emotional entanglements anymore. Godfamily tried maintaining contact. I was passive. Chose to hang out with colleagues and catch up with old friends who matter. Life's good until baby got into a serious accident in Bangkok that threw my world outta tandem for a good while. He escaped with cuts, serious bruising and muscle tear. His colleagues were in ICU for a week.

Met him up in KL and it was great. His old buddies are now my gd friends, especially idham's gf. Rushed back Singapore together for my D&D, then escaped together to to Brunei again. More at home now with his folks; they've warmed up to me very well by then. Heh.. my old-people skills have definitely improved. Aunt Grace's legs went numb one morning when I was there. Have been in hospital since. Decided to sms her jokes every now and then to keep her spirits up after I'm back in Singapore.

** Sept **
Work work work. A bit no life, but there's so much to learn, so much to do. Maybe honeymoon stage, hence the inexhaustible vigor and energy. CEO replaced by Patrick. Internal shuffles, new policies. We tried our darndest best to support. Grappled with human issues when a certain somebody wasn't too professional and divulged plenty of company secrets. New branding, presentations, seminars, and trainings. Hands were soooo full, but it's waaayyy better than idling. Plus my confirmation date's 1 Oct. NO WAY I'm jeopardizing that. Haha..

** Oct **
Appraisal went well. Yippee! Pay increment upon confirmation. Woohoo!! Got to know couple new friends who've since become my hangout group. Des and Hendrix, thanks for being such great blokes. KTV, pool, club, pub, movies, coffee. And next year, BKK! Des, thanks for being there.. for sussin out my moods and for being my chaffeur without me asking.. muahaha. We really bonded, especially over the times we tried trashtalking each other to death. Hahaha... Maybe I'm your retribution cos you used to torture so-and-so that way. KARMA dude, karma!! Btw, you boys still owe me a bunnydance-striptease number. Well X'mas is 14 days away...... *whistles*.

23rd's come and passed. Fuzzy one this year. Most touched by: the overseas call 3 hrs before midnight by a kiasu someone (you know you who are!), sms from Des who wanted to time it exactly 00:00 (but came in at 23:57 instead, ahaha), self-doodled msn msg from Joel, overseas sms from Mas who was at our Suzhou branch office, sms from Reub's mum and bro, and a few more unexpected ones. Strange sense of contentment. Thankful to be alive 4 years on.

** Oct Nov **
Grams in hospital. Nasty fall and broke her thigh bone in 3. Patrick having doubts about Marketing's capabilities to deliver. Merger with fellow partner, i.e. MAJOR restructuring. Energy levels flagging, stress levels all-time high. Difficulty managing our new CEO. Stomach flu hits double whammy in 2 months. Frustrated at poor health and worried if I'd contracted something terminal. Lovers back to friends. External family to deal with. Things spinning outta control.

It was a tough period of time. I'd made sure I always had company cos being alone makes me tear. There was no hatred though. Only defeat as I tried to make sense of what's happening, while upkeeping a normal life.

** Dec **
Dust at work has more or less settled. Optimistic about my prospects yet troubled by the low morale of my colleagues. HR exec said, "they're not important". WTF?? Some people obviously have negative-digit EQ. Took another brave step and met up with baby post-breakup. Was tougher than I thought. Crushed the entire week after that and flooded my room. 2nd meet up's a week later, with more of my friends this time. Threw rationality and my inhibitions as a woman aside. Didn't approach some friends nor tell them in depth cos they love me too much to not feel angry. "I know you'll judge, cos I'm your friend and you dunno him that well too. But even if you don't trust him, at least, please trust my judgement. That's the best you can do for me as a friend." Only buddy who gave uncondemning advice was Nelson. I wouldn't be here if he weren't there 4 years ago. I won't be here typing this if he weren't there a week ago.

Aunt Grace's slipping away. I dunno how long it'd be before the Lord brings her home. But I'll pray for her recovery and solace, and for him and his family too.

*****
21 days to go before the start of a new year. I pray for inner Strength and fulfillment cos the void in me remains. Amen.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Think (Part 1)

22 more days. How fast.
2005's approaching its last moments. Do I hear The Final Countdown?
Yes this post's about reflections, regrets, and gratitude.

Every year this time, is a time when cowie starts retreating into the safety of her shell. Where she can have some quiet time looking back at the past year, taking stock of what's happened and what's been done.

No surprises; 2005 is just as drama. Every year, ever since cowie grew up and learnt more about life's pains and happiness, there'll bound to be some major upheavals and crashes. Each new year welcomes her on a high note, and leaves her confused towards the end.

Am I genuinely happy/thankful/in unknowing self-denial/trying to be strong/plain sad?

To be honest, I really don't know.

This year's a different kind of rollercoaster ride altogether. For a first (1st Jan to be exact), I took a brave step in accepting that love does happen in the most bizarre of ways. He did too. Jaws dropped, wide-as-saucer eyes, shakes of disapprovals, and exaggerated 'what?!!??!' were the reactions I got. Even I couldn't believe cowie did it - cowie the cynic, cowie the practicalist. Sure, when I fall, I fall hard, I fall long. But I was quite sure no long distance relationships for me. Too far.. too tough. Until he came along, and I shot myself in both feet. He shot his too.

** Feb **
Anyway, this bizzare cheesy couple finally met up in Feb just before CNY. Went Terminal 2's toilet so many times I swear I've made it into Guinness. Tried to breathe deep to calm down. But the zillions of thoughts colliding and confusing one another didn't help. When the ice finally broke (thanks to Stephen Chow on cable tv), it felt like I'd known him for decades. Where have you been all my life? Definitely bull's eye this time.

** Feb, Mar **
Second, the severing of ties with my so-called 'family' around Feb, Mar. People who became my god-family because of Nustar, and whom I thought had some real bond with. But it had to end, with me being the cold-blooded ingrate in some people's eyes. Whatever. I simply cannot ignore how my blood-related family felt and how they were embroiled into the sticky entanglement because of the other 'family'. Had enough of empty talk and air-kissing.. Who was there to render REAL monetary help? So much so for 6-figure salaries and swanky talk of hefty commissions they're getting. WE, my own blood family and I, had to clear the fucking shit ourselves. The process felt like disentangling hairpins one by one from a hair full of deadknots. No wonder they say blood's thicker than water.

** April **
Come April, had got to know the lady boss of an events company through Reub's client. Small world it is, she happened to be Reub friend's friend too. Even greater drama >> Reub's client is Singaporean, the lady boss is Singaporean, Reub is Brunei PR, and Reub's friend is Bruneian. Talk about bilateral ties and international goodwill! We ought to be presented medals. Haha.. Started working for her and did 3 months of events. Fun but tiring..... I started growing restless, working in a small firm. Can't perform at my best without any structure, I realised. Courtesy of childhood drilling by dad I suppose.... Funny how last time I used to tune out whatever he said, yet now it pops into my head when I thought I'd 'filtered' them words out. Maybe cos baby gave similar advice too. Yeah for a while, I thought I had TWO dads =) Met my parents for the first time. They absolutely loved him. I love you too, baby :)

** April May **
Went for Brunei virgin trip and fell in love with the country. People there are slightly warmer. Different from big city people. Costs of living's lower, pace's slower. Dad and mum would feel right at home here. Was a nervous wreck before the trip though >> fretted over what to wear, what topics for small talk, even thought about where to place my hands and reviewed my walking pattern. My cortisol levels broke all previous records. His family were so nice, I came back Singapore with assorted gifts like homemade yam cake and snake beans.

** June **
Was restless and concidentally knew this bunch of new people. Work ain't too fulfilling, and I started slipping into abyss again. The new people became my (temporary) solace. Did stupid things and broke my man's heart. Decided to come clean with it, cos I just couldn't lie to the one I love. Buckets of tears.. hour-long talks and introspections. Both realized our contributing faults, and continued with a clearer idea of each other's expectations.

To be continued..

For Aunt Grace

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. (Numbers 6:26)
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37:7)

Monday, December 05, 2005

Excited

*Toot toot*
"Hello, sharon speaking"
"Sharon ah,"
"Yes ma'am?" I jokingly answered.
"Can come to my room?"
"Sure," Now I wonder what she wanna talk to me about. She sounded happy on the phone.

I knocked on the door that's been left open. Boss looked up and gave me a welcome smile.

"Sharon, you still remember the email I sent u last week?"
Email? I jogged my memory furiously.
"Mmm...... the one about helping boss lighten her load?" I replied pensively.
"No, not that one. The other one..."
"OH. the one about being more involved in the business and running of the company?"
Bingo.
"I was just thinking, what's your opinion towards this matter?"

I paused and composed my thoughts for a while. I finally decided to take the 'be truthful and honest, yet open to suggestions' approach.

"Ok, first I'd like to understand what does 'being more involved in the business' entails? So I can have a rough idea of the challenges ahead and what the company expects from me."

Boss then explained the story from the beginning. When they were scouting for the next person to fill in the Marketing Exec position, they'd had something more in mind. In fact, they had planned for a Management person, instead of a pure Marketing person. In other words, the right candidate has to have other qualities and potential, other than being artistic and creative enough to fulfil basic marketing duties. That's why the 7-month gap spent on "shopping" around in the marketplace....

"I just want to know how comfortable you are with moving on to other aspects of the company. We're doing resource planning right now, and I'd like to bring you further."

My heart skipped a beat at the opportunities ahead.

"But I have to warn you first - if you decide to say yes, we'll start moving very quickly next year onwards and it'll be a very, very tough challenge ahead," she continued.

My brain was working, as I tried to keep my pulse steady. Can't get too excited.... 'Always know what you're getting into, woman!!!' Rationality screamed.

"What's expected of me if I should accept the challenge? What do I have to do?"

"You'll be required to attend each and every meeting, big n small. Even those that you've no direct business of. The path to a managerial position is such that you know all workings of the company, which'll be an advantage when you handle sensitive issues like people issues. But then, this is also the job of a manager - to manage people."

How true. Smart people delegate, and to make a delegated task work well, I'll need the fullest support of my team. Not to forget getting their respect.

"Give it some thought. You and (another colleague) are the only two I've extended this invitation to. It's a gamble on my part, cos' after all u've only been with the company for a very short while."

"Yes I understand. I'll give it some thought, and consult Mas's opinion too. I've to make sure everything's ready for handover, otherwise it's gonna be very unproductive."

I went out of her room with Brain working at light speed. Tried to get back to where I left off but my PC screen's just a lighted blur. I'm game for the challenge, but I need to calm down and know what the consequences are if I accept it. Once the decision's made, I cannot turn back. It's my career, for goodness sake!

My fave mentor/friend/manager was on leave. Hence decided to speak to our HR manager instead. She is another woman that I highly respect in the company. To my surprise, she actually knew about it. "Soon told me about it. So how do you feel?" Told her everything that's on my mind, and why I need time to consider.

"It ain't about me. I won't wanna take up a position I've no know-how in, or something I don't know what's expected of me. Cos if I go out and meet customers, I represent A**os**n. I don't wanna tarnish the company's image and name by anyhow selling things or closing partnership deals!" I replied with an exasperated and confused look.

Reb. She's been through what I'm going through now, and she agreed with what I said about matching the position with the strengths and character of the individual. Had a good 20min chat with her, and I am impressed by her knack for sniffing out potential markets and opportunities. Well, I'd just have a chat with mas on Wed when we're both back from our leave. See what my good friend/mentor's take is on this matter.. Meanwhile, get some much-needed zzz and consult my buddy tomorrow. Till next time~

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Life after death?

Got this cool reply from an equally hip man featured on Straits Times today. He's the founder of the IndoChine group of restaurants (more than 20 in Singapore, Malaysia, and Germany!), 38 years old, a Laotian-born Aussie citizen cum S'pore PR who has a penchant for chandeliers (they're well-hung) and sports a funky ponytail.

During the interview, he gave this witty reply that cracked me up:

Q: Do you believe that there is a life after the one we are living now? What do we have to do to go there?

A: (First expresses his dislike for life-after-death, or in this case, life-after-life questions.) "I'm too busy living this one to worry about the next."

If I knew what I did to get here, I will know what I need to do to get there, but then again, how do I know that what I do will get me there? And in the first place, where is there?

And how do I know that there is where I want to go in the first place? In fact, how do I know that you are really here and I am talking to you?

Poor reporter.

I wonder... Life-after-death, or life-after-life? I'm way too dense fer that right now haha. It's a blardy SUNDAY afternoon, hellO! Plus I got home at like 7am this morning after a KTV marathon. Shiok though, keke.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

How apt..

Was reading a chinese magazine before I slept last night. I've no fondness for Sun Yanzi; she can't sing for nuts (totally subjective, I admit). But I just had to rip this one liner of hers off the magazine and onto my blog. When asked to comment on her recent breakup, she summed it up in less than 20 words -

Liang3 ge4 dui4 de ren, zai4 cuo4 de shi2 hou4, ai4 le yi4 hui2
(translated "2 right persons fell in love with each other at the wrong time."

Anyway on to happier things. Been more productive lately. cleared quite a bit of stuff past 3 days despite the puffy and stinging sensation in my eyes. Sometimes I forget to take breaks and end up aggravating the condition. But surprisingly during last night's pool, I played not too bad at all. Well, maybe not as good as Leo (yet) but at least balls are going where I wanna place them.

Monday I'll start working on a leads-tracking system, to eliminate manual form filling and composing emails by the Customer Service officers whenever a new lead comes in. The system's supposed to be a "Click-as-you-ask" kinda thing: new phone query comes in, CS officer asks questions and fills up a form on her PC using the mouse. The minute you click "Save", system automatically sends an email alert to the personnel-in-charge of the product line, and cc Marketing about the new lead created. Sales or BD Managers can print reports according to different criteria, such as Salesperson or a date range. Editing and updating of a lead's status is also do-able via my system.

Yeah I know, we maybe a little slow in this aspect. Some (or most) companies already have such a leads program in place, but at least ours is totally proprietary. Especially when management's focus is on "minimal costs whenever possible". Coding in-house allows us to utilise what we already have, though time costs (spent on setting up and testing the system) could factor in rather significantly.

Thurs went salon with Angie after work. Totally impromptu. So glad we went: it's at Compasspoint (place where I hang out often), and I totally dig the stylist, Kef. He made me feel absolutely at home. None of that uncomfy feeling I had at Cinq's salon 3 months back - couldn't click with Henri (the salon director & stylist I requested for), and somehow felt they're hardselling things to me. For the record, Kef even offered to treat me dinner! Turned him down cos Angie's meeting her hubby and I certainly don't wanna eat with someone I knew like, 2 hours ago. It's just..... weird.

"Next time, I insist," he said on our way outta the salon.
I couldn't say no to that. Hmmm.. Don't know if it's his tactic to get us back to the salon, haha. Really prefer this look, and somehow everyone agrees I look better than with normal hair. Even colleagues who've never seen me with wavy hair before. Winks.