Think (Part 2)

continued..

** July **
Started work in A***scan. Happy cos I'm on very gd terms with my manager. Bonded on the trip we went in mid July. Was for an industrial exhibition in KL... Realised we've similar working styles, tastes, and expectations. So far so good. Even HR manager exclaimed we're like peas in a pod sometimes. Haha..

** Aug **
Career's good; family's good. Reub mended bridges, especially the toughest strain between me n my dad. Drew away from the new people, cos they can be quite immature and too self-righteous. Plus i didn't want unnecessary emotional entanglements anymore. Godfamily tried maintaining contact. I was passive. Chose to hang out with colleagues and catch up with old friends who matter. Life's good until baby got into a serious accident in Bangkok that threw my world outta tandem for a good while. He escaped with cuts, serious bruising and muscle tear. His colleagues were in ICU for a week.

Met him up in KL and it was great. His old buddies are now my gd friends, especially idham's gf. Rushed back Singapore together for my D&D, then escaped together to to Brunei again. More at home now with his folks; they've warmed up to me very well by then. Heh.. my old-people skills have definitely improved. Aunt Grace's legs went numb one morning when I was there. Have been in hospital since. Decided to sms her jokes every now and then to keep her spirits up after I'm back in Singapore.

** Sept **
Work work work. A bit no life, but there's so much to learn, so much to do. Maybe honeymoon stage, hence the inexhaustible vigor and energy. CEO replaced by Patrick. Internal shuffles, new policies. We tried our darndest best to support. Grappled with human issues when a certain somebody wasn't too professional and divulged plenty of company secrets. New branding, presentations, seminars, and trainings. Hands were soooo full, but it's waaayyy better than idling. Plus my confirmation date's 1 Oct. NO WAY I'm jeopardizing that. Haha..

** Oct **
Appraisal went well. Yippee! Pay increment upon confirmation. Woohoo!! Got to know couple new friends who've since become my hangout group. Des and Hendrix, thanks for being such great blokes. KTV, pool, club, pub, movies, coffee. And next year, BKK! Des, thanks for being there.. for sussin out my moods and for being my chaffeur without me asking.. muahaha. We really bonded, especially over the times we tried trashtalking each other to death. Hahaha... Maybe I'm your retribution cos you used to torture so-and-so that way. KARMA dude, karma!! Btw, you boys still owe me a bunnydance-striptease number. Well X'mas is 14 days away...... *whistles*.

23rd's come and passed. Fuzzy one this year. Most touched by: the overseas call 3 hrs before midnight by a kiasu someone (you know you who are!), sms from Des who wanted to time it exactly 00:00 (but came in at 23:57 instead, ahaha), self-doodled msn msg from Joel, overseas sms from Mas who was at our Suzhou branch office, sms from Reub's mum and bro, and a few more unexpected ones. Strange sense of contentment. Thankful to be alive 4 years on.

** Oct Nov **
Grams in hospital. Nasty fall and broke her thigh bone in 3. Patrick having doubts about Marketing's capabilities to deliver. Merger with fellow partner, i.e. MAJOR restructuring. Energy levels flagging, stress levels all-time high. Difficulty managing our new CEO. Stomach flu hits double whammy in 2 months. Frustrated at poor health and worried if I'd contracted something terminal. Lovers back to friends. External family to deal with. Things spinning outta control.

It was a tough period of time. I'd made sure I always had company cos being alone makes me tear. There was no hatred though. Only defeat as I tried to make sense of what's happening, while upkeeping a normal life.

** Dec **
Dust at work has more or less settled. Optimistic about my prospects yet troubled by the low morale of my colleagues. HR exec said, "they're not important". WTF?? Some people obviously have negative-digit EQ. Took another brave step and met up with baby post-breakup. Was tougher than I thought. Crushed the entire week after that and flooded my room. 2nd meet up's a week later, with more of my friends this time. Threw rationality and my inhibitions as a woman aside. Didn't approach some friends nor tell them in depth cos they love me too much to not feel angry. "I know you'll judge, cos I'm your friend and you dunno him that well too. But even if you don't trust him, at least, please trust my judgement. That's the best you can do for me as a friend." Only buddy who gave uncondemning advice was Nelson. I wouldn't be here if he weren't there 4 years ago. I won't be here typing this if he weren't there a week ago.

Aunt Grace's slipping away. I dunno how long it'd be before the Lord brings her home. But I'll pray for her recovery and solace, and for him and his family too.

*****
21 days to go before the start of a new year. I pray for inner Strength and fulfillment cos the void in me remains. Amen.