Questions in my head

Our experiences shape who we are today.

Is the world really all that bad and ugly? I cannot bear to see people i care about become cynics because they've "been there done that". The world exists in shades of grey. HUMANS exist in shades of grey. It's not as easy as apples are apples and oranges are oranges all the time, no?

Had an arguement with him last night. Started with religion and mlm etc. To him, religion is bad. It is man made, it is prone to errors etc. I guess he just doesn't like people who're too over-zealous about sharing their faith with others. I don't like the way he puts religion down. I've seen how it helped people, how it gave people a direction. He doesn't like the way religious folks think the rest of the people are lost sheep and need guidance/salvation.

I'm not a staunch this or that. I just don't like that he sweeps everything down the rubbish chute without giving credit to where it deserves. Nothing is totally bad or perfectly good. I don't like preachy pushy tactics either. To me, religion is a very personal revelation that comes to one at the right time and rightly so. He doesn't like that people who believe strongly in something says "let me help you" and assumes the rest of the world are brainless and directionless.

I don't know. I know how religions have given former addicts a new lease of life. Yes it might be delusionary, but who are we to say what is real and what is not? Maybe at the end of the day, they could very well be headed in the wrong direction and there is no God in this world at all. But all I'm saying is that at least in the process, it helped them to become better people.

Maybe I'm just plain stubborn, headstrong. Egoistic. Likes to think I know what I'm doing. I don't have the faintest idea. I just don't like thinking bad of people. It poisons me. I don't know about you, but I find that thinking bad of other people is a reflection of what kind of person you are inside. If you're a scheming person, you'll think everybody around you as suspicious or up to no good etc. It takes one to know another. Cliche, but true.

He wants me to see beyond. I know he's trying to make me see the whole macroview of things. Of this world. Of people. I do see, of course I do. I'm not stupid ok? But I see the microism of things too. And seeing is different from choosing where your focus is. I know how ugly people can get, how everything boils down to selfishness. A fillial person is good to his mom because if he doesn't do so, he'll feel bad. It could be conscience pricking but the main point is, he treats his mum well so that HE won't feel bad inside. Some twisted irony huh? But how true.

As for me, I choose to focus on the goodness in things. Cos' it makes life so much easier to cope with. Just apply the same logic to relationships. I've been let down so many times. Does that make me feel that apples are apples, and men are all the same? And would betray my trust one day? If that's how i see it i wouldn't have trusted him the way i did already. And I still trust him wholeheartedly. At the end of the day, sometimes, it does help to be less rational and more intuitive about things.

Maybe he's right. They might have motives for helping me. But that's not for me to question, and I don't wanna delve so much either. If they offer their help, and it IS helping me in some way or another, i don't see why i should question their morality or selflessness. After all I don't stand to lose. Why do I have to make everything so clear and embarrass anyone?

I can just imagine him rolling his eyes and thinking that I've been brainwashed. Sigh... I guess there'd never be a complete round-up for this.