Break free of the mould
We all come with moulds, you and I.
Moulds that are instilled in us since young. Views of the world, of people and social norms. As children, we subconsciously learn from the adults. These lessons follow us throughout our adulthood, and become part of our subconscious mind. They shape our behaviours, our beliefs and affect our relationships, work and personal.
What if you realise one day that the lessons that served you then, no longer serve you now?
To me, the revelation came when I started working and progressed up the proverbial ladder. Stakeholder management, which is corporate speak for managing people, became a skill that is quintessential. A skill which I lack, and a skill which I am still learning to polish today by first unlearning my subconscious mind.
You see, when I was a child, I was brought up on a notion that we need nobody. We don't need friends. We don't have to care about what others think as long as you're true to yourself. We need to be direct and say the blunt truth, always. While these concepts served well in certain circumstances, the truth is that people do matter. Perceptions matter. And they stick to you like sweat does on a hot, humid day. Manners matter too, and increasing research has shown that a simple "thank you" results in reciprocation from the same person, and the effects are lasting. Most importantly, people remember how you make them feel, so we have to be aware of our tone, choice of words and body language.
To put it simply, it is all part of our responsibility as a member of the social fabric. And we all have a part to play in making relations a healthy one. One that's built on openness, humility, respect and manners.
I'm still learning, which is why I have decided to pen this so I may share it with my daughter when she's older. Social skills are so important today. It is no longer what you know, but who knows you. When it comes to recommendations, it is also who likes you more that will recommend you, than someone with low social skills and high technical expertise. Simply put, nobody likes to hire brilliant jerks.
It is an art form to be able to tell someone difficult news or messages, while being respectful and aware of the impact of the content on that person. An art that can be used on family, partners and the workplace. It is also in how we communicate with customers, if you're a business owner. The applications are endless.
It is time to break free of my mould, unlearn my past, and chart a new future. What about you?
Moulds that are instilled in us since young. Views of the world, of people and social norms. As children, we subconsciously learn from the adults. These lessons follow us throughout our adulthood, and become part of our subconscious mind. They shape our behaviours, our beliefs and affect our relationships, work and personal.
What if you realise one day that the lessons that served you then, no longer serve you now?
To me, the revelation came when I started working and progressed up the proverbial ladder. Stakeholder management, which is corporate speak for managing people, became a skill that is quintessential. A skill which I lack, and a skill which I am still learning to polish today by first unlearning my subconscious mind.
You see, when I was a child, I was brought up on a notion that we need nobody. We don't need friends. We don't have to care about what others think as long as you're true to yourself. We need to be direct and say the blunt truth, always. While these concepts served well in certain circumstances, the truth is that people do matter. Perceptions matter. And they stick to you like sweat does on a hot, humid day. Manners matter too, and increasing research has shown that a simple "thank you" results in reciprocation from the same person, and the effects are lasting. Most importantly, people remember how you make them feel, so we have to be aware of our tone, choice of words and body language.
To put it simply, it is all part of our responsibility as a member of the social fabric. And we all have a part to play in making relations a healthy one. One that's built on openness, humility, respect and manners.
I'm still learning, which is why I have decided to pen this so I may share it with my daughter when she's older. Social skills are so important today. It is no longer what you know, but who knows you. When it comes to recommendations, it is also who likes you more that will recommend you, than someone with low social skills and high technical expertise. Simply put, nobody likes to hire brilliant jerks.
It is an art form to be able to tell someone difficult news or messages, while being respectful and aware of the impact of the content on that person. An art that can be used on family, partners and the workplace. It is also in how we communicate with customers, if you're a business owner. The applications are endless.
It is time to break free of my mould, unlearn my past, and chart a new future. What about you?
posted by urbanGem at
10:46
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