What the fuck

This is getting depressing.
My leg's swollen again. This time the thigh area that's painful. the area where the clots are....

I don't get it.
Things were improving towards the end of my stay in the hospital.
1st night at home was ok.
2nd night was not.

1st, the throbbing pain came back when I took a nap.
2nd, I almost blacked out when I went loo around 2am plus.
3rd, I almost died from pain in my lower tummy after the loo break.
Now I'm not exaggerating. Dad had to sit me up so I can take the painkillers.

More shit came along.
1st, went for blood test this morning and the general med doc measured my thighs. Right side's 1cm bigger than the other.
2nd, she told me it's ok. The swelling will go down again.
3rd, I'm not convinced cos the warfarin brochure said clotting might still occur when taking warafin. "Please inform your doctors immediately should there be any swelling, redness, numbness or pain in the affected area."

I'm gonna call Dr Chia first thing tomorrow morning to ask her about this. Cos the pain has extended upwards to upper thigh area. And I've a bad hunch about this.

seriously. what have i done to deserve this shit?

Untitled

I dunno what to name this post. For once, names do not do justice to what I'm gonna write in this particular entry.

My last post's about my A & E experience at TTSH. I know I promised to write about the check up last Monday. But how to when I was hospitalized right after the examination?

12 June 2006 Monday
My CT (computerized tomography) scan was scheduled for 9am at the Vascular Diagnostic Lab. Results showed I've some thrombus (blood clots) in the deep vein of my lower thigh. A senior radiographist was brought in for a reassessment. Held my breath as she held the radioscanner against my thigh, pressing and repressing my muscles. I've a bad feeling they detected some stuff there. But.... what??

"How long has your calf injury been, girl?"
"About.... more than a week. 10 days.."
The radiologist nodded with a 'no wonder' look on her face. Then used a ruler to measure some part of my thigh near the knee.

I couldn't contain it anymore.

"Excuse me, could you tell me what's going on here?"
"We found clots in your thigh area. Its a rather long clotted area... BUT the lucky thing is there are gaps along the clotted vein. So it's not all that bad..."
"But how did they get there in the first place??" I was flabbergasted.
"It could be due to delayed treatment for your injury, so the clots had time to quietly form in your leg. We can't be sure.. Don't worry, your A&E doctor will know what to do," she tried a reassuring smile. Not helping....

Wheeled back to A&E where my doc read through the reports.

"It's confirmed. You do have Deep Vein Thrombosis. DVT.. clots in your veins and they're rather bad," he looked at me intently, trying to detect any anxiety from his young patient perhaps.

I took a peek at the diagram he was holding. There was a sketch of my thigh and calf, and a particular area of my vein was shaded. About 20cm long from the back of my knee.

Before Dad and I could fire any more questions, he told us he has to admit me for further observation. I looked up at Dad from my wheelchair and he is obviously worried. So am I, Dad..... WTF is deep-vein thrombosis anyways?!?!??

Rest of the day went in a blur. I was given a bed trolley.. Blood pressure and pulse and temperature taken.. then Doc said he'll give me an ECG (electrocardiogram).. ECG?!?! Isn't that for heart attack patients??

What's happening what's happening..........

Dad went out to settle my paperwork. Nurses tried to be nice warm and friendly. Brought to Observation Ward to wait... Smsed shitloads of people to distract myself.

No appetite. Had only 1.5 pieces of wheat biscuits and a cup of milo for lunch. The nurses were trying to get me to eat. Finally took some Anarex and knocked out for 2 hrs.

4plus pm...
"Sharon, wake up. You've a bed already," Opened my hazy eyes. My mobile showed 16:53.
"Did your parents come with you?"
"Ya.... they're somewhere outside." The nurse gave me a strange look.
Turned out that no one responded when they paged for "family/friends of Sharon Sim Li Juan please come to the Observation Ward now" earlier on. Called mum, she was at the bank with nana. Smsed dad, he was out doing his rounds. They'll drop by later...

I'm all alone.

Brought to Ward 8B bed 40. The occupants looked at me weirdly. I couldn't walk and my right leg was bent, yet there wasn't any visible bandages nor cast on me leg. Settled in at 5plus and text Gerald and Reub.

Eveningtime...
Cannot sleep. Nana and Jenn aunt came earlier on... bought me a big-legged lamb to keep me company. I had no appetite.. Text des and he kept me company till 10plus when I tried sleeping.

1110pm - Doc came. Explained what treatment they're gonna give me. Oral med's slower, so they're complementing it with injections. Blood drawn everyday to monitor how I'm reacting to the med.

1120pm - Medic officer came to draw blood.

1130pm - Nurse came. Injected my tummy. It came painfully like a sharp bullet puncture or a dart shot onto my lower tummy. Reeled from pain and finally the dams broke.

1135pm - Sms came in. It was Reub. Just in time.... text him about my condition. Cried and sobbed like a baby.

1155pm - About to sleep.. woken up by an Indian auntie. There was a wheelchair in front of her.
"Girl wake up.. go for X-ray." WTF........

1230am - Back in bed.
344am - Woken up by commotion. New patient brought in to bed next to me.
4 - 5am - Woken up by constant periodic wailing by opposite malay auntie. She sounds like some pontianak......
604am - Nurse came to check my details and wrote them on my bed post.

705am -
"Sharon sim wake up. Time for injection."
I protested. "Huh again??? Very painful leh....."
"Ya this injection'll hurt abit more but it's for the thrombosis," then she proceeded to jab me. I winced, kept my palm on the injected area to stem the pain. Cried again.

710am - Lights on.

*****************
Those were what happened on Day 1. I was subsequently warded for a good 8 days. Was discharged yesterday afternoon around 130pm. The week went by slowly and many came to visit me. Had lotsa well wishes and 2 extra soft toys.

Some other gifts include 16 puncture scars on my tummy area near the navel. Battlescars I call them. PLenty of books and mags to keep me occupied.. and a laptop loaned to me by Jitul.

Tired already.. shall move around to aid blood circulation. Docs say cannot sit nor stand too long.

Hope I can make it thru this crucial 3-6 months period.

Crutches & Wheelchair

What a horrigible day....
Let me count the ways.

Woke up feeling dazed... Then tried to walk..
Pain shot up my right leg.
So much pain...... I almost teared.
I wished I needn't leave my bed.........
Dialled 1777 for ambulance. My leg's officially dead.

5 minutes later..
"Hi, Sharon please"
"Yes speaking"
"Sharon, i'm Chris calling from Hope Ambulance Services. I understand you needed an ambulance"
Yes 'need's the word.
"May I know how are you related to the patient?"
"I am the patient (duh).."
"(mild surprise detected) I see. Can u describe to me your injury? You fell down? Any cuts?"
...
...
...
"Ok got it. In the meantime just rest and don't move about" DUHHH i can't even if i wan to! "we'll arrive in approx 30-40 minutes. Just relax"
"Orite thanks for the help.."

Hope Ambulance Services arrived at my doorstep in the form of a lady and a man. Exactly 40 minutes. There I was, slumped on my computer chair with a super sian look on my face. They brought along a mini wheelchair that was pretty neat, with extendable handles in front and back.

I was lifted down the stairs. Just like some ancient Chinese princess en route outta the palace to somewhere.

Save this "princess"'s clad in shirt, shorts, flops and an uber swollen right leg.

Reached void deck, wheeled to ambulance. Lifted onto stretcherbed. So much pain and discomfort, wished they'd knocked me out with some injection.

Everything whizzed past in the opposite direction. Trees.... clouds.. *HONK HONK!!!!* More trees... clouds... lamposts... Rain.. *HONK!!!!!!!* "WAHLAU KNOW HOW TO GIVE WAY ANOT???? Singaporeans ah..." Clouds... Buildings. BUILDINGS!!! Finally reached the hospital....

Wheeled in a stretcherbed into the Registration area. People staring at me like I'm some alien. Some don't bother looking cos it's the norm.. Its a -hospital- for God's sake. Waddaya expect? Models catwalking in teeny bikinis?!?

Transferred to wheelchair. Admission.. Waited for 3 hours. Got in.. doc did some pressing and scanning. Its a muscle tear.

Good Lord.

"You'll have to come back for a proper scan tomorrow. I'm worried there might be blood clots in your leg, hence the swelling."
Blood clots??!?!? I thought I heard thunder and a momentary flash of dizziness.
"We're gonna discharge you. Don't move around too much, and no walking for the next 2 weeks"
Erms question. How do I get home if I'm not allowed to walk?

Loaned crutches from a neighbour. Moving around super slowly. Friends and colleagues tried cheering me up. But it's frustrating when you suddenly become a useless piece of shit. Even fetching myself a drink became a 10 minute long journey.

Now have to survive on shitloads of Anarex and some muscle relaxing gel.
Drowsy already.. must be the painkillers. Will update again tomorrow after the scan.... Hope no clots nor fracture.

It's a Small World after all

Make that a "f***ing small world". (>_o)

Just finished a marathon-laughathon-bitchathon with my bestest buddy of all times, Danzzzz. A.k.a. DL. A.k.a. Wormie. A.k.a. Single Zero (translated from her cina name, dan1 lin2). Hahaha please don't kill me babe...

ANYWAYS she was telling me about her cousin's wedding last night. Quite grand blah blah n blah.
Something just went *DING* and I asked if the groom's name is Junyao.

OMIGOD bingo!!! How didya noe??
ahhaahhahahaa wahlauuu!!!!! he's my friend's friend!!! n i almost was at the dinner!!!
haiya wasted!! else we'd have spent the night gossiping.... wahahhahah
YALAH! wahlauuuu what a freakin small world siah...

1 hour passed.... and we're still at it. What can I say? It's not everyday that you and your buddy realize you've some 'marriagey' links between you two ya noe??? And she commented there was a table of really rowdy boys at the dinner.... I wouldn't be surprised if des and ed were part of the mutiny. LOL

I won't publish here the contents of our conversation. It's for thy eyes only (n_n)V
HELLO!! They don't call it "Gals' Talk" for nothing... hee~.

>> Choice of song: Corcovado

Reub's Prez

For the benefit of a very special and extremely dear friend, who's 25-going-on-to-52..... who cannot view my html from his gmail box... I've decided to publish his present on international blogging arena for all to see.

Lo and behold... Reuben's 25th Birthday present.
All the way from Singapore to Brunei with the aid of smazzy internet and sexy Google. *winks*



Have fun~~~ and watch your foot!!! (^_^)/"

In love with..?

A conversation on msn with a couple of people set me thinking...

Are you in love with the person?
Or simply in love with the idea of being in love?

Marriage is for life. Divorce rates are rocketing up up and away.. But is that good enough reason for us to contemplate that as a viable route out? Is it justifiable to sign on the cert, go through the customaries, bow to Heaven, oath before Christ, and then get a divorce?

I've seen so many couples who stay together out of habit. They were part of a pair for so long, they've forgotten how to function as an individual.

Then there are those who're obviously unhappy, yet chose to compromise their happiness for the sake of staying "in love".

But Love ain't about unhappiness. It's not about pride and it certainly ain't about inconsiderateness. I'm no Love guru.. but my simplistic view of Love is that it is about 2 persons.

2 persons' happiness, 2 persons' growth, 2 persons' maturity and 2 persons' lives.

Selfishness and pride have no room to jostle in the sanctity of Love.

And marriage? It should be a lifelong affair.
Love keeps it going.. Faith guides as a beacon.. and Hope provides the nourishment.

We all need to figure out what we want and don't want before taking the leap of faith. Myself included.

GSS

Yeah GSS. How exciting.... Save it's not Great Singapore Sale for me, but Gastrocnemius-Soleus Strain!!!!!!!!!

Blinks. Gastroc.... WHAT?
Refer to picture on left *point point*

AAaaahhh.....
Yeah THAT's GSS for me. Right calf's been a bitch for close to 1 week already... and yet no improvements. Every morning there's a cramp that's going on in my calf and I don't know what it is... (to the tune of "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray).

BOOHOOs.

Just now sought my good friend who's in occupational physio, and he said I've most likely strained it.

"Don't stretch it, just let it heal"
Des stretched it for me last night and this morning I stretched it again..
"Don't exercise"
I just did 3km last evening...
"and just ice it..."
Ok i've put tingling tiger balm on it.. so not too bad. Phew.

BUT STILL!!!!!
I've violated Rules 1 & 2!

Panick sets in and I googled in a rabbitsy-frenzy. 'Calf muscle strain' summoned many websites dedicated to sports injuries. Devoured all the various info from different slides and presenting my conclusion report >>

Muscle & Strains
The calf muscle group consists of the gastrocnemius, soleus and plantaris muscles, situated at the back of the lower leg. Their main function is to pull up on the heel bone.
Depending on severity, strains are classified as 1st, 2nd or 3rd degree strain:

- 1st degree strain is damage to a few muscle fibres,
- 2nd degree strain is damage to a more extensive number of muscle fibres,
- 3rd degree strain is a complete rupture of the muscle itself.


Signs & Symptoms
Grade 1:
Signs may not be present till the activity's over
Sensation of cramp/tightness (yes, me)
Slight pain when muscles are stretched/contracted (no.... i was practically -howling- in pain when des stretched my leg last night)

Grade 2:
Immediate pain which's more severe than Grade 1's (yes....)
Confirmed by pain on stretch and contraction of muscle (yes!!)
Usually sore to touch (felt sore when mum applied tiger balm for me)
Mild swelling (yes), noticeable loss of strength (yes I can't use my right leg at all)
Sometimes bruising (called ecchymosis) after a few days

Grade 3:
Immediate burning or stabbing pain
Unable to walk without pain (yes, that was me in the mornings)
Muscle's completely torn
May be a large lump of muscle tissue above a depression where tear is
After a few days a large bruise will appear below injury site (bleeding within tissues)

Treatment
Grade 1: Rest from sporting activity for 3 weeks
Grade 2: 4 to 6 weeks
Grade 3: Muscle has to be repaired surgically and rehabilitation will take 3 months

************** End of Report ******************

This is just great........ o_o"... Even the cute animals in Over the Hedge couldn't lift me over the hedge. AAAAAHHHhhHHHHHHaaaahhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

X-Men

Snucked some time to blog while my bosses ain't here yet. Grins.

Well I caught X-Men III last Fri. Damn awesommmeee.... I'm officially in love (all over again) with Wolverine and Hugh Jackman. The show (again) focuses on him and though he may not be the most spectact mutant of all, he does have a cool combi of lethal claws and quick healing powers. The latter also proved to save his life and the world from Jean Grey a.k.a Phoenix.

Speaking of Jean, she's de lovely as ever. The last instalment we saw her buried among the waters at Akali Lake in a heroic bid to save her fellow team members. This instalment we see her turning humans and mutants alike into ashes in a demonic demonstration of her unstoppable dark powers.

As for Magneto, I simply love Ian McKellen. Just a week before X-Men III, I caught Da Vinci Code where he played Teabing, the obsessed academic who seeks the Holy Grail and the Priory of Sion. And a year ago, didn't we all enjoy the magnificent Gandalf who never fears evil and the dark side? Who gave Frodo precious advice when he needed direction, and throws the occasional mischevious wink? Ian just never fails to add that special touch to any movie.

Among the new characters, most hilariously portrayed was that of Juggernaut's. All brawns, no brains. Simple, brash, unstoppable. How can we do without such idiots in movies?? Also Mystique represented the femma fatale when she sabotaged Magneto. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...winks.

Tomorrow I'm catching Over the Hedge. I'm sure it's gonna be an AAWWWW-some movie. Baby hedgehogs and tortoises... here i come!!!