3 months

It's been that long since I last blogged. This is one of those times when I feel like writing something, yet there's too much in my head to piece it altogether. Have been thinking a lot. Haven't been sleeping well. Feeling somewhat empty, somewhat lost. Perhaps it's work. Maybe I'm burnt out. Or I'm at one of those crossroads where I need to decide which direction to take.

This blog has been in existence for the past 5 years. Yes, it has been that long. It has seen me through the basest of times. And then some. Some things are just not meant to be recorded for it crystalises that particular emotion, or memory. Like a form of justification for feeling what you felt at that moment in time. Yet we all know we tend to get swallowed by that moment...

It has been a difficult 3 months, work and personal. It is tough to be on my own. And there's things I miss which I cannot say. It is difficult to face your own battles at work and to fight off being consumed by emo-ness. The expectations and responsibilities that come along while you struggle to see the path ahead. I chose to focus on the lighter side of things. I really tried. I smile and made talk on my lowest of days. Sometimes it helped, this little playacting. But quiet moments, is when it seizes me. I know I have the love and support from friends and family, yet who was I kidding? I need to see what's ahead in order to feel right and happy again.

I will be ok. I am only feeling this way because I have been jolted and dealt with a harsh lesson from Life. It is a reminder to me that I have not experienced all that Life has to offer, its beauty and its ugliness. And no matter how big a blow have been/might be, I will be ok because I always have a choice. I have the power to choose my reaction.

I will be ok.