Fogged

What a stunning day this has been.
As in literally. Stunning.

It all started with me saying you don't care about my feelings.. then the Q&A, Q&A, Q&A..... and more Q&A. Then talk talk talk... yak yak yak... yeadder yeadder yeadder.......

And then it hit me. *ddddddiiiiieeeeeeewwwwww PIAK!!!*

As to what 'it' is...... let's just say, that in the midst of my accusations and emotional swing-a-doos and sayin "i want but you dunwan" crap and all, I realise I was the one who's guilty of all that.

You caused me to think. And think, I did.
The answer is there. And you know it, hence the current situation.

I was stunned.
Well, who was I trying to kid anyways? Maybe subconsciously I tried to cover it up, but it still snucked out. And you knowing me well knew that I was escaping and jumping into the easiest route out.

I cannot be selfish. Now it has hit home, I realise I had been somewhat stringing people along too. As I've so righteously accused you of doing.

Before the knot is untied in me.. before I truly find peace in my heart.. I will watch my ways.
There shall be no more comparisons, no more benchmarkings, no second best's, no measurement of whatever kind.

That shall be my resolve.

P.S.: Those of you reading this please remind me if you sense I'm veering from that resolve. I don't really care what you'd do... clobber me with a giant club or fling a bucket of iced water at me, just WAKE me up. Much appreciated your gestures..