Lust

I cannot sleep.

Just had a 'sauna shower', the type where you crank up the heater till your whole bathroom's fogged up. Supposed to relax your nerves.... soothe your soul... clear your mind........

Bullshit. Yoga-ish crap.

Reason for my sleeplessness is lust. Was at Geylang Lor 9 having beef hor fun and teh, then Drix suggested go jalan 'see scenery'. So we risked our lives and our insurance policies, crossed the crazy road with a thousand and one cars zipping across at any one time, over to the other side.

Where there's more 'chicks', pardon the pun.

Now this ain't my first time in Geylang's red light district. But tonight was different. The last time I went deep into the labryinth was seated comfortably AND safely in Nelson's red MRS. We could look and smile from behind our windows, and with the rest of my body safely behind the metal door.

Tonight we walked INto the streets. Me teethering behind them two. My initial nonchalence started to quake when I saw more and more AND MORE men. In packs, in droves. Scattered, squatted, all over the street with a cigarette outta their mouths.

Ahead of us there was a heavyduty spot light shining on one of the streets' intersections. In the middle was an ice-cream pushcart. There were men, and women standing around or having ice-cream.

But this scene is not outside a school per se.
It's outside two HOTELS.

And the nightmare begins. I wasn't following them as closely. And Drix was looking at them girls. I was suddenly at that junction where most likely, meat is hung up for sale and interested bidders. My hair stood and I felt nauseous. The air around me smelt too lustful and the stench of it was so over-empowering, I felt lost and panicked.

"Shouldn't bring girls here," Des said.
"Let's go," Drix got his point.

I practically forced my legs to move. Yes, it was that bad. I know there's a business like this going on in most parts of the world. But to be in the midst of it while trades were exchanged and FEELING YOU'RE BEING 'CALCULATED' made the whole thing fucking queasy.

And all those men. I see fathers, uncles, grandfathers even. Who knows some might be my same block neighbours. It caused me to think about the significance of marriage and relationships. When they're there, where's the responsibility and obligation to the avowed promise made when they decided to get married? A relationship and marriage signifies that both of you are committed to each other EXCLUSIVELY. it is the two of yours RESPONSIBILITY to keep it an exciting, interesting, and enjoyable journey.

Then I uttered outta exasperation,
"It's just so sian. Dunno if next time my hubby will be like that or not..." and kept quiet the rest of the journey.

It's like we've come so far, evolved to become smarter and faster. Yet we cannot control our lust? To me it's mind over body anytime. If a guy can't keep it in his pants, then I think he's no more than the stray cats/dogs who hump around every night.